Wudder Sports 2017 NBA Finals Game One Wrap + Game Two Respond/React
That escalated quickly.
Game One of the 2017 NBA Finals looked competitive for a half.
Then the all-night avalanche of Cavs' turnovers, bizarre dominance on the boards by the Warriors, the seemingly effortless 38/8/8 excellence of Kevin Durant, and finally some dagger threes, followed by some goose-stepping from the 2015-and-2016 Adorable MVP happened.
By about midway through Quarter 3, there was nothing more to see.
God only knows how bad it could have been if Klay could get back to shooting anywhere near as well as he’s currently playing D, or if Big Mouth Dray had really come to play. The Dubs only shot 42% from the field and still won going away. Only 42% from the field despite seemingly having a free pass down the lane that ceded countless dunks and yielded 56 points in the paint. But they shot twenty times more than their opponent, mostly due to winning the rebounding battle when the game still mattered and forcing five times more turnovers.
Speaking of “when the game still mattered”, did anyone see Kevin Love’s line from Thursday night?!? Have you ever seen a player be more invisible despite scoring 15 points and pulling down TWENTY-ONE rebounds?!? I have no idea how or when in the game that happened, by the fourth, I was checking out like the starters should have been. My only explanation is Big Kev musta been out there PADDING, as my man Ba from the FiyaStarter crew would say.
Emptier stats than Shareef Abdur-Rahim back in the day last Thursday.
I’d go back to LOOK AT THE GAME TAPE!! as Tracy Morgan says, but honestly that’s a game that I never need to sit through ever again.
You know the game's a dud when after a week-long layoff, the lead story coming out of it is Rihanna.
Then again, Ri Ri is a scene-stealer just about everywhere she goes and we love her for it. Hell, Jeff Van Gundy missed the best moment LeBron James had all night, back when the game was still tight, simply because the Bad Gal came strolling past his line of sight.
JVG sounded ready to start hanging off her leg, like Alonzo Mourning back in the day.
Speaking of exercises in futility, the Cavs' bench was downright pathetic.
Kyle Korver’s 20 minutes were more invisible than Love’s 21 rebounds.
C'mon, Dawg. Quit Playing Like a Hawk.
Deron Williams was back to looking as bad as that big rat tat on his arm.
However much dough Doughy Deron spent on body art, it was more misspent $$ than Billy King paid him to lead the Brooklyn Nets.
Richard Jefferson was on the court for far too many meaningful minutes.
But this game or series isn’t going to be won or lost by either bench.
It could be a little bit lost by Tristan Thompson scoring ZERO points and being outrebounded and outscored by Zaza Patchouli Oil.
Is the Khloe Kardashian Kurse Getting To Tristan Like It Did Rashad McCants & Lamar Odom?!?
Let's hope not. Asked for his assessment of his performance in Game One, Tristan simply said "Trash.". At least he's unsparingly self-aware, we expect him to be better tonight.
It could be looking bad if JR Smith pipes in the first bucket of the game, then never scores again for the rest of it.
It might get bleak if LeBron goes for 28/15/8, but turns it over 8 times and gets no assistance from anyone but Kyrie.
Will these problems persist?
We’ll see.
We’re not exactly sure what Step-over-Lue was trying to do post-game, by declaring this Warrior team “the best I’ve ever seen”.
Giving a sarcastic answer after a dispiriting loss? Trying to lull them into a false sense of security? Hoping to fire up his troops by lavishing praise on their enemy? Setting up pleas to cop should the guy with the “toughest job in professional sports” lose this series in ugly fashion?
Who knows, but more importantly, who cares?
Game One is in the books, in forgettable blowout fashion.
The Dubs are a 9-point favorite in Game Two.
But that’s why they play the game.
And speaking of playing, at least tonight the National Anthem will be played by Carlos Santana, rather than sung by the dude from Train.
So, to LeBron and the Cavaliers, “I hope you’re feeling better”.
#WudderSports will be here after the game with a reaction either way.
And yes, we’ll admit there were enough elements in Game One to make Nostrabombus’ Warriors-in-Six pick seem optimistic, let alone make you think the Cavs could actually win.
But we’ll kindly remind you, that after two games in the Roaracle Arena in last year’s Finals, the Warriors were up 2-0, winning each by an average of 24 points.
We saw how that turned out.
Much like the last Cleveland championship hero before him, Jim Brown, LeBron often does his best work when it looks like you’ve finally knocked him down.
Let’s see if he can even it up before heading back to The Land from The Town.
Nostrabombus Game Two Prediction: Warriors (-9) over Cavaliers
Series Prediction (for those who missed the preview, go here): Dubs in Six
Check below for live in-game journal.
***********************************************************************
BONUS Municipal Musical Matchup
Oaktown Game Two Representative:
vs.
Believe-Land Representative:
Winner: Bone Covers The Spread
#WudderSports Respond/React Live Journal
Quarterly Reports
First:
-Cleveland Big Three: LeBron in attack mode, KLove getting some meaningful points, Kyrie struggling against Klay’s stingy D.
-Steph has ten free throws in the opening twelve? You gotta be kidding me, especially that half court three-point post-foul heave called on Jefferson.
-TRISTAN THOMPSON SCORED A BASKET! A two-handed dunk while under the basket against no one but it’s a start.
-Kyle Korver sighting! Sort of…at least he got to the free throw line.
-Durant drilling a three with 5.6 left, then JR running down the court and falling down with the ball in his hands on the other end. “That’s the difference”-Dre, Em, Xzibit
-Golden State turned the ball over more than they did all last game in the first. Cleveland played better defense than they did all Game One. And yet, the Warriors still scored 40 in the opening frame. Uh-Oh, Heads Up!
Second:
-9:40 mark KYLE KORVER HITS HIS FIRST SHOT!
-Kevin Love looks great.
-7:04 circus-shot-for-three-the-hard way=Kevin Durant looks greater.
-6:44 Jeff Van Gundy is giving out Broadway show recommendations.
-Lebron has 9 assists, 14 points and probably 5 boards at the halfway mark of the second quarter.
-“Don’t tell me you wanna win, show me”-Mark Jackson at the five-minute mark break. This guy loves empty clichés. He’s probably still mad that he’s no longer the head coach of this Warrior team. I’m guessing Mike Brown is as well after Steve Kerr’s “Willis Reed”/”Paul Pierce” appearance on the bench tonight.
-LeBron halftime stats: 18 points (8/12 shooting), 10 assists, 6 boards, hasn’t sat for a single second. Jesus. Someone besides KLove & Kyrie need to help.
-Cleveland down three at half, despite getting nothing from three? They’ll take it.
Third:
-LeBron right to Love for another easy basket to start. 11 Assists. He'll need to break Magic Johnson’s single-game Finals assist record (21 vs. the Celtics in ’84) to pull this out.
-10:26: Kevin Durant picks up his 3rd foul. He and Draymond both have three. Let’s see if that comes into play, because Durant is looking flawless out here.
-9:30-8:54: Love with a three to cut it to five, then Draymond Green hits an open corner three, knocks the entry pass down, Curry starts dribbling Bron around in circles, no help at the cup from Love, Kyrie watching at the perimeter, LeBron misses the block from behind, Golden State goes from 5 to 10 in about 20 seconds. Timeout. That feels like a turning point that Cleveland is going to have a tough time recovering from. Has LeBron sat yet?!?
-7:59: Another dumb foul by Green, his fourth. That should help a little.
-Do they keep stats on points off long rebounds? Because this series feels like it’s about 68 to 0 so far in the Dubs favor.
-LeBron makes about three plays in a row that MJ never could, capped by a ridiculous full-court touch pass to a streaking Kyrie. ABC goes to break playing the other MJ “Blame It On The Boogie”. Four-point game again at the midpoint of the third quarter. Shamone!
-Golden State making another run, goes up twelve. LeBron has 28/12/9 and has been on the court the whole time. He is going to be exhausted by the fourth. This game is about to get away from the Cavs if somebody else can’t score. Even Love can’t buy a shot all the sudden and this is being played at a Warrior pace.
-1:06: LeBron sits for the first time the entire game. Cleveland’s lack of bench, shooting guard and F/C spot not occupied by Love is KILLING them. JR has more fouls than points thru seven quarters, Tristan Kardashian is M.I.A.
-28 second mark: Draymond picks up a fifth foul. I’m not sure it matters now. Curry just hit another shot from the parking lot. Goose-stepping coming soon.
Fourth:
-Korver looks lost. I don’t even recognize his shooting motion.
-Deron Williams looks more finished than Mike Bibby was on LeBron’s first Heat team. Remember when some of y’all tried to say he was better than Chris Paul? Was Dubya still in office when that became laughable?
-Klay Thompson finding his three-point stroke off broken plays. 14 point lead with 8 to play. This game is slip, slidin' away.
-Andre Iguodala: the only Warrior I feel comfortable watching shoot.
-Durant blocks Love’s attempt at a hook shot, then comes back down and hits a circus shot from his back, Jackson pulls out his first “Mama, there goes that man...”, 16-point lead, 7 minutes to go. Mama, there goes Game Two. This thing is over like Deron and RJeff’s careers after this year. No need to say more from here.
#WudderSports will return with a Game 3 Preview/Review this week. Peace.
